Chris' Birthday

Yesterday was Chris' birthday. He didn't seemed too excited about the birthday this year. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said let's just do a family thing. I thought ok that's easy. We'll just have everyone over for dinner. Everyone could bring something. It will be at our house so everyone will have time with Harper. Good idea, right?

Harper had other plans. He decided that no one could hold him but me. Not even Chris. He also decided that he couldn't be put down. This made for such a wonderful afternoon for me. I couldn't cook or get anything together since I had a 20lb child on my hip. He wouldn't let me put him down even close by. I have never heard shrieks like the ones Harper made. SO high pitched they hurt your ears and tears gushing everywhere. I love that he loves me and that he is some what of a momma's boy, but this was ridiculous! They were all family that he knows and met before. Not strangers off the street I let in the house. I wasn't leaving him. I felt bad for the grandparents that don't get to see him very often and I felt bad for his Daddy that was getting screamed at on his birthday.

He ended up crashing towards the end of the day and we finally got a break from the screaming and Chris got to enjoy the end of his birthday dinner (I hope). He woke up as my parents were leaving and was happy again. I don't know if he really was upset and overwhelmed or if he just knows how to manipulate his mommy really well. Probably a little bit of both.

Harper and Daddy after everyone left. Thanks goodness his Daddy got some birthday love!!

Seperation

It started about 2 weeks ago. Harper gets handed off to someone or is put down for more than 5 minutes. Immediately reaches for Mommy. If Mommy leaves the room or says "you are ok" immediately a blood curdling scream, followed by a flood of tears so thick it leaves his face and shirt soaked within seconds.

The first time it happened was a Mommy Bootcamp. He was in the stroller while I worked out around him. The first 5 minutes were ok. Than he started to realize I wasn't going to pick him up. He screamed, and screamed and screamed some more. At first I thought he'll stop. It's just because the stroller stopped. So I kept the stroller moving. Didn't work. Than I tried toys. Nope. Didn't work. Than I tried a snack. Nope, just screamed harder. I finally gave in and picked him up. Happy as can be. Me not so much as I tried to run and lift weights with a 20lb baby on my hip.

Next time it happened my father-in-law came to watch him while I went back to school for a meeting. He came in and I handed Harper over like I normally do. He looked at me and reached. I said, "you are ok." Screaming. Tears. I said, "I'll be back sweetie." Screams so hard that the screams stop making any sounds. I had to leave and it broke my heart.

Third time, Chris' aunt came to watch Harper as we went to a wedding. When we left he was still napping so we didn't witness the screams, but heard all about them when we called to check on him and when we came home.

The most recent time was today. I have been paying for a gym membership every month, that I have not been using. I figured today that I would give it a try and go back. They have a kids club and Harper likes other kids so this should be great for both of us. Nope. It started off great. He was smiley when we got there. Went right to the girls working. I was so excited. I told him good bye and that I would be back and went to work out. I thought we were great. I even got through 30 minutes on the elliptical. I had almost let a sigh of relief when I saw one of the girls coming towards me. "Harper's having a really hard time she said." Apparently he screamed on and off the entire time I worked out.

I'm almost at my wit's end. Every time he screams like that it breaks my heart. It makes me never want to leave him. But I have things I need to do and places I need to go. I am so torn. I feel like the worst mom ever making him cry. I guess all we can do is keep trying. This phase can't last forever, right?

My happy little man when he's with his Mommy & Daddy.

8 months

On Monday, my baby turned 8months. I know 8 months is still a baby but to me he seems so big. He went from this little swaddled little face to a moving expressive little boy. He may not say words yet, but you can tell what he is thinking and what he wants from his sounds and expressions. He now crawls around the floor getting into everything. He's changed so much in what seems like such a short amount of time. It's scary how fast the time flies by. Everyone says this but you don't realize it until you have a child of your own.

My sweet baby boy

Valentine's Day

This past weekend Harper went on his first long car trip to NY. To be honest I was kind of dreading it. Not the weekend of course, but being in the car anywhere from 5-8 hours with the little man. He has decided recently that he is not a huge fan of the car seat or anywhere else that reigns in his newly aquired crawling skills, so I was thinking he was really not going to be a fan of the car. And naturally since Chris drives on long car trips, it was going to be my job to jump from front seat to back seat to entertain our energetic, little one.

I was pleasantly surprised though. One, because of all the snow we have had there was about half the traffic on the road as usual on a trip to NY. This was great because we didn't get stuck in any bumper to bumper traffic like we usually do. Two, we left shortly after he had his first bottle and he took a great two and a half hour nap! This is much longer than he will sleep when he is at home. He only woke up for about an hour or so and we played and ate and then he went back to sleep. He was so good! Of course there were a few moments of blood curdling screams when he realized that he was in his car seat and couldn't get out to play. But he was easily distracted by the excessive amount of toys we kept in the car to play with.

Once we got to NY, we had a great weekend. We got to hang out with Jen and Pete, see their family and meet their cute little niece Emily. She and Harper are only 3 weeks a part so it was very fun to see them play together. They even traded binkies! Emily and Harper are both Jen's godchildren so it's extra special that they had a chance to meet.

On Valentine's night we even got to go on a grown up only double date which was really fun. I'm glad to say the car ride back went just as well as the car ride up so it was a very successful first trip weekend :)

Friends

I have to say I truly love my friends. They are the family I never had but always wanted.
“Friends: family that you can choose for yourself.”
I truly feel that way. I love my family, I should say my extended, I truly do, but I really love my friends.

I've always wished for a very close family. I have always seen super close brothers/sisters/cousins and been jealous. "Why don't I have that", I would say to my self. I wanted a brother to go places with and be protective of me. I wanted a sister to stay up late and share everything with. For some reason it always seems as though what you want the most in life is always one step away. The grass is always greener on the other side type of thing. My mom would say she always wanted my brother and I to be close and wasn't sure why we weren't or what went wrong. When I married into a huge, ginormas family I was sure I would have the siblings I always wanted. It ended up that we aren't so close either.

But through it all I have always had friends. People to turn to. People I trust. People to share things with. People who are there for me and I am there for them too.

And all though sometimes I feel as though my family is not there, I am blessed with wonderful friends who are and for that I am truly grateful.

Kisses

Every since Harper was born in June, the puppies have loved kissing him. Some people would say it's licking and that it's gross that the dogs do that. I think it's wonderful. Buddy and Marley were/are my first kids. People said I wouldn't love them as much once Harper was born. Things would change people said. Well things changed but not as people said they would. We now have 3 kids in the bed instead of 2. I now have 3 kids to take for a walk instead of 2. We now have to find arrangements for 3 kids instead of 2 when we go out. My love for them didn't decrease. I just added another wonderful little one to our family. That's why I think it is so wonderful that Buddy and Marley love Harper. I love that they kiss him. I am so happy that they have adopted him as another sibling and that Harper loves them right back. That's why this is one of my all time favorite pictures.


I also love this one...


And even though this one isn't kissing, I especially love this one......

Snow, Snow and More Snow!

We have officially broken all snow records for the area this week! I think we have had something like 54 inches since last Friday. It's so crazy! I've had lots of time to practice taking pictures. Here are a few of my favorites :)

Cookies

Today is day 9 of snow days. I have been off work for what seems forever. SInce I had to do something productive, yesterday I was baking :) Here are some pictures of my yummy chocolate cookies, sugar cookie dough and brownies.

Moving

So today Harper made leaps and bounds in the moving department. He crawled around and got into the dog bowls. He had a wonderful time splashing and playing in the water.

It was so cute to see him splashing. Even when he got it in his face, he would make a surprised noise but then keep going. There was water all over the living room.

I know I should have stopped him. Buddy definitely wanted me to stop him as he looked on so sadly from the side. But he was so cute and having so much fun. So instead I grabbed my camera.

Snow Day!

Today is our third or fourth snow of the year. I think we have had more snow this winter than I can remember any year. It's so nice to have the surprise day off to stay in your pajamas and hang out with Harper and the puppies. I definitely still get as excited as I did when I was little to see the county name scroll across the bottom of the TV screen. They are calling for a foot or two more this weekend. I only wish Harper was a little bit bigger so we could really enjoy it!