Sleep

Since Harper was born he has slept with us at night. In the hospital he slept next to me in the boppy pillow. The first week home Chris or I held him while we slept downstairs. The first month home he slept in the co-sleeper between us. From month 2-4 he slept in the basinette next to my side of the bed. At month 4 we tried the crib. Usually he would go in at 8 and be in bed with us by 11 or 12. I can't bear to hear him cry, so if I went in once or twice I would just pick him up and bring him in with us. Now for the last week or so, we haven't even attempted the crib. Just started the night with us and he wakes up with us. I know he is supposed to sleep by himself. He's supposed to love his beautiful nursery that is decorated just for him. I know I'm supposed to want him to sleep in there. I'm supposed to want my break. The thing is I miss him when he's not next to me. I feel like something is missing if I can't see him. Even for naps He sleeps on my laps, or on the couch next to me. I like being able to know he's ok. I like being able to fix something right away if he needs me. I'm sure this is something we'll grow out of. I'm sure eventually we'll want our space. Somehow I think it will be Harper who grows out of this first.